Crime is an intresting thing, mainly revolving around Buddhist Monks and fish. Although the exact reason of this is unknown, it is a funny thing which fits in the theme of this website. Buddhist monks are renowned for being anti-crime and all, everyone can work together as long as they follow the teachings of "Buddha". This is the most boring and useless fact anyone could find out about because Buddha is something I would rather not mention. (A ***) Buddhist monks however have recently turned to crime - stealing loaves of bread from needy children isn't something to be proud of. The reason fish are involved is because they are slimey, wet and . . . well, fish I suppose. Although they aren't as bad as Buddhist monks, they are the number two criminals.

     Remember - blending in with crowds is the least useful fact a Crime Lord can know. The most useful is to avoid Buddhist monks if they are holding loaves of bread, for they are most likely going to rob you. The second most useful thing is infact, a minion. Minion are usually a quarter of your size, and fan you all day in your palace. That is another thing to think about, your palace. Successful Crime Lord's all have palaces., but, unless you have an awful lot of money, you start with a small hideout. But, remember if you have a palace, make sure not to put any fish in it, because, if you do you will end up with having your palace stolen over night. If you wish to have fish, kill them first. All Crime Lords must also remember that badgers are in plentiful supply after the Great Badger Plague. One thing in short supply is the saber toothed tiger. None remain, but, if you genetically modify something, I'm sure you could bring one back.

     Being a Crime Lord is hard. You have to have a good minion who will obey you, and do everything you need, like, managing your loads of illegal cargo which you send on hijacked aeroplanes to Europe and Asia. There is great need for the Bubonic Plague over in Asia, and any merchant would pay dearly to plague the West with it once more. But first, you will have to get passed the Buddhist Monks, who have recently started the building of a channel of molten lava around Asia, so no one can enter or leave for that matter. I have reason to believe that Ojo Mocklob, the most success Crime Lord in Asia, is behind all this Buddhist activity - and, it is rumoured he has over 1,000,000 loaves of bread which have been stolen from needy children. It is also rumoured that he has a dose of small pocks in a small bottle, and is not afraid to tamper with it, then unleash it.