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Dear friends. I speak for all of us when I say that the European
Song Contest is rubbish and full of non-gifted singers with silly hair, but I'm sure many of you would be horrified if you
knew the damage it did to the world's animal economy.
Last European Song Contest sank four Battlecruisers, each filled
with Badgers, ready to plague the US. Also, the production of the amazingly addictive Badger dolls, production was halfed
over night. It is because of this that I have decided to team up with a team of Antelope, devoted to destroying the contest
forever.
Decide now. Will you side with evil or hilarity, the choice is yours.
However, unless you want a deadly virus to destroy your computer I suggest you side with Hilarity, or things will change.
Uncle
Brian, Press Conference 2004, Bedland
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That was my favourite song. Now it isn't.
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Classroom 114
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America aren't in the Eurovision song contest.
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Back Courtyard
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This alarming graph, featuring comments from a doll of "Nasty Simon" shows the alarming fact that America
aren't in the Eurovision song contest.
"As I have told you before, I will not stand for the destruction
of any more badger carrying battlecruisers, because the US deserves to be plagued. Badger dolls also deserve to exist, soi
Eurovision must be stopped, or more carnage will come.
As a loving member of the MPOA (Mad Protection of Animals) I demand that Eurovision
is halted. My troops are currently occupied against the forces of coffee, but I have joined with antelope to defeat Eurovision
- those singers stand no chance against those pointy horns."
Uncle Brian, in Texas suprisingly
We in the Destruction or Death party, are strongly backing Uncle Brian's movement.
We believe that if Eurovision if destroyed then it will show Fred, Minister of Defence, that he is not worthy of being the
commander of the Bedland army, and he will be forced to hand over to me and my troops. This will obviously have great benefits
to the people of Bedland, and leave them safe in the thought that they won't have their throats clit over night, or have someone
come into their room and shoot them.
However, in the time being we are great supporters of Fred, who has ruled confidently
for the past three years, and obviously he has shown that he is the most capable Minister of Defence that Bedland has had
for one thousand years.
Borgo Caster (Who?), at the Bedland United Conference 2005
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